'What made your man leave?' - Ali Baba gives relationship advise

The comedian took to his Facebook
page yesterday to dish out relationship
advice to women. Find it below..

Sometime back, in March, I was
advising a babe on how to make a
man stay. Some comments
posted in reply to my status were
that men are only controlled by
their third legs, money, yansh,
boobs, beauty and ego. I tried to
highlight a very serious point that
babes were missing.

And that is, everyman wants
better. We do not want to feel the
one we let go was better.
Not too long ago, I read some
wild and wide criticism that
greeted what Stella Damasus
wrote about keeping a man. To
some, wrong as they were, Stella
had no business telling anyone
how to keep a man. I believe she
does. I actually think she knows
more than she revealed.

Growing up in Ojo Cantonment, my  Dad
and I were walking back from his friend
from a Soldier in the Education Corp of
the Nigerian Army, from Gongola state
who had been made a Major. Just as
we took a turn, from the officers' mess,
a naked mad man was running towards
us from the opposite direction, shouting
Mad Man... Mad man... To my surprise,
My Dad, who was a military man, told
us to run for cover. So he dragged me
behind a kerosine tank, pushed me to
the ground and kept looking to see what
the mad man was running from.

Meanwhile, Some two Fulani men who
used to come into the barracks regularly
to read palms of anyone who yielded
their hands to them, had been walking
behind us, before we took cover. They
kept walking.

I nearly laughed when I saw them make
a Uturn, and took off after the mad man
that had run pass us, it now looked like
they were chasing the mad man that
was shouting "Maaaaaad man!"

On the heels of the Fulani palm readers
was another mad man, brandishing a
UTC cutlass . Not Machete. Cutlass. The
type used in felling trees. That type that
reminded one of Prince Nico Nbaga's
bell bottom trousers back then. He was
swinging the weapon of death as he
pursued... It became obvious to us from
where we were crouched that the
madman had no one in mind as a
target. He was after anyone he could lay
his eyes on. Because, soon as the Fulani
men, vanished at the end of the Block,
he gave up on that chase and followed
one Man selling Festac 77 sleeveless
Adire. Mr Adire seller was actually
laughing at the way the Fulani men took
to their heels. So, this time I had to
laugh when I saw how the amusement
on his face changed into fright. He took
off and jumped across the gutter by
Palmy Bus stop. He continued running
even after the machete carrying mad
man hand found new targets.

Sorry I digressed. Hope you are still
with me.
My Dad later told me a proverb in
URHOBO, "AVUE ODIERO, NE EKI
VHENRHEE!" Which means you do not
need to tell a deaf man that there is
chaos and uncontrollable commotion in
the market. He can see. That's all he
needs.

Back to Stella DAMASUs' write up. We
are not all perfect. That said, when a
Musician writes a love song, do you
stop listening to the love song or letting
the lyrics connect to your relationship
because the singer has divorced 8 times
or has not been able to hold a
relationship longer than 3 months? I
don't think so. I think STELLA did well.

If you like go call police.
Back to the HASHTAG I talked about
earlier,
#WhatMadeYourGuyLeaveYou .Many
ladies missed the point as they always
often do. They were talking about how
men are polygamous in nature, Cheats,
irresponsible, not ready for
commitment, gigolos, lack ambition,
lack self control, think with their third
legs... BLA BLA BLA.

I need to mention at this time, that i was
at that time preparing to talk to young
ladies who were looking to settle down
and finding the right guy. And to tell you
the truth, a lot of the ladies missed the
whole point by a mile or 2. They need to
read STELLA DAMASUS' piece.

It's easy for a lady to say, a guy was
not serious that's why the relationship
broke up. Or to say, he used her and
dumped her for another lady. Fine. That
is what they think made the guy leave.

But to be honest, was that all there was
to it?
I would like you to know that, that is not
entirely the truth. A guy would always
weigh his options. He would want to
know if he is getting the best. Or if he
can see the best coming soon.

ABEG OOO
Before a lot of ladies eat me raw, let me
explain. I do agree that it's a two way
street, but I can only speak for the WAY
I HAVE BEEN ON. I AM AS STRAIGHT
AS THEY COME. I KNOW AND HAVE
KNOWN ONLY WOMEN.

Have you as a babe listed some CORE
10 things that you think you have that
will make a guy not want to leave you?
Do you also have some other unique
things that a guy will not get anywhere
else? Ok, lets agree he likes your breast,
your bum bum and your soft body.

What
has any of those got to do with respect,
the tone with which you talk to him,
showing you are happy to be the one he
chose, supporting his dreams... Does he
like blowjobs? Do you give him same?
Does he like talking? Do you listen?
Some girls are funny, they will admit to
knowing that the other girl bests them
in several departments, yet still say,
they don't know why he moved on to
her. Really???
There several things that makes a man
make up his mind that it is you or
otherwise. DONT get it twisted... If he
finds out that someone has 15 CORE
things that you have only 3 of and even
the 3 are sometimes canceled out by
the bad things like nagging, pride,
greed...that have formed your character.

Your own don set. You are sitting there
comparing yourself to someone who
has 13 things, more than you and is
willing to tolerate his weaknesses and
learn more. Yet you are quick to say,
you don't know what he sees in "that
girl". Hey girlfriend, your beauty stands
no where near the towering personality
and good heart "that girl" has. Better
recognize.
I know I have stepped on that last nerve
you have been tolerating me with. OYA
delete me. I even need space to add
people who tolerate and think like I do.
I rest my case.